and now this?!!

our Gabe was off to his first summer church camp... called home...not feeling well.......
long story short...
in the hospital having his apendix taken out... while I'm at home not allowed to visit my boy as I'm scheduled to have the port put in tomorrow..and then on Thursday start chemo.........
not sure how much more this family can take?

Rejoice in the Lord and be glad...

Our little Samson Jude is such a blessing in our family and his smile can make sunshine appear when the storm seems so dark. He is very gentle with me and will even join in with tears at times or just reach out and hold my hand.

Thank you Lord for giving us tender-funny-compassionate-little SJ and for bringing him into our family at just the right time.

My Hubs and all of the kids are doing great in supporting such a blubbering 'mama'...

The roller coaster of life's emotions right now is unbelievable (for me mostly)... I'm VERY thankful for all of you who are praying-- and have sent cards...

I keep them in a bag and read- and re-read them often...

I even sat down to sew a tiny bit... so maybe a 'scrappy' auction will come soon :)

since the surgery my eyesite has really changed! so I have a couple pair of those cute reading glasses now!!

update on the medical of my life...

I am having a port put in on Wednesday... and then my first chemo treatment on Thursday...

I am scared,

but trying to put His truth in place of my fear.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart..."

Cancer is not Poppy Dip!

.... if you remember May 1, 2009 'Poppy Dip' emerged.. on my 39th birthday...poppy dip meaning 'all is good' words from our little Solomon

Oh how life has changed

May 1, 2011 (my 41st birthday) I was in a hospital bed hearing news that turned life up-side-down.

"I was wrong... the tumor was cancerous... it had 'popped'/was leaking... therefore we must take every precaucion to get any cancer cell lingering in her body,"Doctor said / told Montie midway through surgery.

We brought home our little Samson Jude at the end of Februrary-a long adoption journey from Ethiopia...we set into the adjusting having our new little guy in home...I didn't really think too much of the 'belly issues' I seemed to be having (dealt with IBS issues my whole life).... but for some odd reason the pain seemed to be getting worse?... So long story short... I had surgery to remove all girlie parts and the tumor that the doctor had assured me was 99.9% NOT cancer. I was sent home to deal with life and knowing I would start chemo therapy as soon as I healed from the surgery... dealing without a hormome in my body... Most women have time to slip into menopause /or are given hormone therapy after a hysterectomy.... but due to my cancer (Clear Cell Cancer) I cannot be given any type of hormone until after chemo... so I'm crying of the time... never was much of a 'cryer' so this is bizzare...


I had a set-back less than a week from surgery, as the pain was unbearable... so back to the hospital to get things under control.will spare you the details.. I was there 5 more days......


Now, most days I'm crying and in my bed.. I do get up some...Many have sent cards - food- encouraging words... and I thank you all.


My Doctor is suppose to let me know when the chemo will start (soon I think)... I'm trying to understand the medical part of all of this and the reality of this being my life and the dynamics it is having in/on our home.... It's very hard ...
I covet your prayers...


I've had a couple moments of feeling so good to think I might even sew a little poppy dip - as that is such therapy for me.... but it hasn't happened yet.


I do believe with all my heart that the Lord is holding my life in His hands... I don't understand a lot and wish I knew some 'why's....

so I'll try to update as I can ... and maybe offer a poppy dip auction surprise every now and then... but no promises.

another update

This is another update from Madison...

I just got off the phone with Mom... she's back in the hospital. Had complications & the doctors are doing their best to find the cause of the unexplained pain. She'll come home as soon as she can.