Wow, where to begin! Its been quite a while since I've posted...last year, to be exact. This is just a short update on how things are going around here....
Life is hard right now... My husband is the most wonderful man in the world, works hard and loves endlessly. The kids are all doing well, keeping up with schoolwork and laughing lots. Honestly, sometimes we sit stuck at the dinner table with six giggling children. As for me, well, its been a struggle. Cancer just wrecked my 'planned' life...
I'm still adjusting to the hormone changes(lack of that is) and trying to get back into the swing of a cancer-free schedule. I'm having trouble with swelling in my left leg and my feet! the bottoms of my feet !! Some days are harder than others. There are the moments when I simply want to give up, when I think I can't take it anymore. Crying is my most constant emotion these days. I'm on some kind of rollercoaster in my mind...making me weary. I'm sad and don't know why? depressed-but what about?
I have to constantly remind myself that life is precious. A good friend told me, "if you wake up in the morning and are breathing, today has a purpose". I'll admit the fear of cancer returning to my body - is terrifying. Its easy to let anxiousness build up inside, let it consume my thoughts and somewhat control on how I live out everyday life. However... Life can't be put on hold because of fear and worry. "Which of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life's span?" Jesus asked this in Luke 12:25. Its plainly stated, so why do I do it? God is always and forever in control of all and He promises never to give us anything we cannot handle. Sometimes I just want to see the BIG picture... but then that exposes my lack of trust.
I will go back for my 3 month check-up later this month... that floods me with a multitude of emotion...Praying for good words as life moves on...
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
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Good to hear from you Sallee! Hang in there girlfriend, many are holding you close and praying for you.
ReplyDeleteBlessing,
Suzanne
Sallee, I am praying 2012 will be the BEST year yet for you. I am sure if I were you I would worry as well, but I agree there is no point. Take it day by day, and God will carry you through.
ReplyDeleteMuch LOVE and HUGS
Sallee, I've felt these emotions as well...paralyzed by the fear of all of the 'maybes' and what if's'. It's an exhausting way to live. I'll be praying that you'll be released from these chains of fear. My own turning point was when a deadly tornado struck my hometown. My paralyzing fear wasn't cancer, it was losing my family, children, death, tragedy. The unthinkable happened. The town was destroyed, but my family was not. I realized thst I hsve no control of whst happens, and worrying won't change that. AND, a tragedy did happen. And I made it. I didn't crumble. I'm much stronger than I ever thought. YOU are strong. YOU beat cancer's ass. You've won. Now celebrate and enjoy life. :)
ReplyDeleteI hope you are comforted knowing how many people are praying for you. You fought such a graceful battle and I know touched many lives. Keep your faith and keep living out all the plans that God has for you--starting with being a wife and momma to your adorable blessings!
ReplyDeleteSallee, I do not know you personally, but read a short part of your blog for the first time today. Your open, honest and tender words in this particular post touched my heart. I am a breast cancer survivor (1 year and 5 months) and still taking the "after drugs". I wish somedays I could put the turban back on, it's a struggle daily managing this "new Normal". I love your honesty, in reading it, I felt like they were words trapped in my heart - just needing to be put on paper. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteBrenda L. (Attend CCC)