Monday, January 30, 2012

...the cancer is back...

just got word today that the biopsies were + for cancer cells...


please pray

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

2012 !!

Wow, where to begin! Its been quite a while since I've posted...last year, to be exact. This is just a short update on how things are going around here....

Life is hard right now... My husband is the most wonderful man in the world, works hard and loves endlessly. The kids are all doing well, keeping up with schoolwork and laughing lots. Honestly, sometimes we sit stuck at the dinner table with six giggling children. As for me, well, its been a struggle. Cancer just wrecked my 'planned' life...
I'm still adjusting to the hormone changes(lack of that is) and trying to get back into the swing of a cancer-free schedule. I'm having trouble with swelling in my left leg and my feet! the bottoms of my feet !! Some days are harder than others. There are the moments when I simply want to give up, when I think I can't take it anymore. Crying is my most constant emotion these days. I'm on some kind of rollercoaster in my mind...making me weary. I'm sad and don't know why? depressed-but what about?

I have to constantly remind myself that life is precious. A good friend told me, "if you wake up in the morning and are breathing, today has a purpose". I'll admit the fear of cancer returning to my body - is terrifying. Its easy to let anxiousness build up inside, let it consume my thoughts and somewhat control on how I live out everyday life. However... Life can't be put on hold because of fear and worry. "Which of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life's span?" Jesus asked this in Luke 12:25. Its plainly stated, so why do I do it? God is always and forever in control of all and He promises never to give us anything we cannot handle. Sometimes I just want to see the BIG picture... but then that exposes my lack of trust.

I will go back for my 3 month check-up later this month... that floods me with a multitude of emotion...Praying for good words as life moves on...